That time that the plumbers fixed the whole dumping-raw-sewage-in-your-yard problem, they were only kidding! haha! Just when you've bought dirt to cover the completely unsanitary crap that hangs out next to your flower bed, it's going to come back! And let's be honest folks, that's what it really is. I can call it raw sewage all I want, but basically I'm talking about real poop just hanging out in our grass.

Speaking of our yard, my roomate and I are getting a pool for it. We're just poor college renters, so of course we're not putting on in, but we did purchase online...get ready for this...a PIRATE POOL! You should be amazed, and let me tell you why:
1. It's shaped like a boat.
2. It's got a plastic canon which shoots water! honest to god.
3. It has one of those big steering wheels, which WE THINK turns. If it doesn't we're probably going to break the pool trying to turn it.
4. It has a sail.
5. It comes with plastic inflatable swords and shields. Ok, I know pirates didn't use shields, crusaders did. I'll just overlook this historical inaccuracy.
Some really smart person suggested that we get two pirate pools and have wars between the two ships. If anyone is willing to fund this, I'm game.

Apparently I'm an adolescent and I have adolescent needs and wants.

In part three of my ongoing war with the bastards that steal my election signs...The last sign I put up with the warnings on stealing is gone. I've got another yard sign in reserve and I have a plan for this one. First of all I'm going to superglue the sign part to the metal-rod-base-thing. Second, I'm going to get a big chain and lock, and then chain that sucker to our tree in the front yard. Then these bastards (yes I said it again) can pull the sign out of the ground all they want, but they can't take it! I will win this friggin war if I have to make booby traps! I'm not beyond digging a big hole in the yard and covering it with leaves. I will defeat you cartoon style!