Tomorrow I sort of start a new second job. No, that is exaggerating it. I have to show up at the local newspaper's (aluminum) building at 7 am and find out what it is that newspaper-photographer-cronies do. My guess is that they drink lots of coffee and don't begin actually doing anything until 8 at least. After I get shown around the place, I'm filling in for someone next week doing photo lab shit work. I go in at 7, hopefully am done by 10 or 11, and then report to Adventure Frames from 11-6. That's a hard day's work. But it's ok, because I'm a hardworking American in a small town, and I'm a stereotype, and I'm a John Cougar Melloncamp song.

The point is, I don't know if I actually have to find something professional looking to wear when I'm just going to sit in the dark pouring chemicals. I mean, do I have to dress up for the 30 second walk past the front desk in the morning? Oh lord I hope not. I want a big orange jumpsuit with space gloves to wear.

I don't want to fudge this up because it may lead to me getting part time work at the paper later on. Which.....I want....right?

No, I don't in reality want that at all. I'd have to go to bed at a resonable hour and be accountable for being in town. I'm scared at one point I might have to cross that point where the day to day stops being fun anymore. If you go to hardcore shows they tell you no one should ever have to cross it, but hardcore is another reality in which no one's mother is chronically sick and your parents can afford to pay your rent while you tour. I respect that reality, I admire the people that can live in it, but I can't forever.

There has come a point where I've realized I can't just keep on doing nothing about anything.

So I've started planning a little bit more for the future. Maybe it involves Portland. Maybe it involves farming on rooftops. Maybe it involves something I can live and live with doing.

Or Maybe everyone will start loving our quirky brand of hardcore and I'll turn into a musical visionary. Or maybe our van will roll and I'll turn into a vegetable. We don't really know.