I had my first and only discussion with my grandfather about my moving away from *home. He was concerned about my monies. He asked me if I had seriously considered all the hidden costs that would pop up. I told him yes, if I put as much thought into that as to **whether or not to wear socks to bed then I would have all the options covered. Just out of curiosity I asked what these "hidden costs" might be.
Pappy:"Well, for one thing...Milk."
Tex:"MILK?!"
Pappy:"Milk is expensive, and you need to drink it."
Tex:"***Gamp, I don't even really drink milk anymore."
Pappy:"WHEN DID YOU STOP DRINKING MILK???"
Tex:"Well, I will drink milk if it's available, but I don't seek it out."
Pappy:"Well...(indescribable grandfather grunt) Here's a sack of potatoes."

While Crystal (Oh sorry I forgot that she is only to be addressed as "my roomate" from henceforth) was checking out groceries tonight I read an article in ****Cosmo Girl on "The Kiss That Will Drive Your Boy Crazy". This crazy new innovative technique turned out to be french kissing. (Whoa! Risque!) The instructions on how to do this read like a Betty Crocker Box. "Circle your tongue around his for the count of four. It might help to pretend that he has a mint in his mouth that you are trying to find with your tongue. To stop, simply pull away". Lord knows what might happen if you got the directions wrong. Only circle his tongue for a three count? You've got a flat cake now!

At poetry night an old friend surprised me with a gift of an old book making reference to an old inside joke. Like all things past, you can imagine how it affected me. Yea, it fucked me up.

Footnotes:
*Home being my grandparents house that I moved into with my mother and baby sister after leaving my father's house, and then having my mother and sister leave for larger cities, and then come back, and then...

**Last night I went with the wearing of socks, and reconsidering, turned on the light and neatly binded them and put them on the bedside table. 5 minutes later I put them back on, but then found them to be too hot and moved them to the semi-on position of pulled over only my toes. Crystal says that (like in a movie) one day someone will fall in love with the fact that in bed I pull my socks to half mast on my feet. It will be one of those quirks that will definately make their top five list of things they miss about me.

***Since I can remember we have called my grandfather "Gamp". I have no idea where this came from. The moniker "Nanna" for my grandmother is relatively commmon. But Gamp? No no no. The scary thing is, I was the first of their grandchildren, so the only logical assumption is that at some point I came up with it.

****This issue of Cosmo Girl had the majority of the page hidden in the newstand behind one of those black plastic page, um, hiders. The only thing that I could possibly see that they are shielding people from is the fact that one of the members of 98 Degrees has a huge tattoo of his band name on his bicep. Kids, never EVER get tattoos of your ill fated boy band on your arm, you will never get a job on the soaps.